Ok, so I'm sure my regular visitors have noticed how erratic my posts have been.  I have been late or not posting on Saturday for the last couple of weeks.  Sorry about that.  Between trying to arrange for Lil Miss to come for her first visit, talking to Lil Miss every other day, looking for a job, dealing with home issues, screwing up my sleep schedule/dealing with insomnia and TRYING to manage my depression things have been a bit...well...off.  If you will all bare with me a little longer I swear I will get my act together and start posting at my regular time again.  It may take a few weeks though.  

In the mean time...

Last week I was sitting out in the garage having a smoke.  we don't smoke in the house, but that's ok because it was a nice night out.  Since I live with boys who love their air conditioning and I'm always cold, I spend a lot of time out in the garage.  But our garage isn't just a garage and that's where you go to smoke.  No one parks in the garage.  We have a extra fridge out there, as well as a dining table with chairs, a T.V. with cable and my blue lazy-boy.  Needless to say it's an extra room that doesn't have air conditioning so this is where I spend a majority of my time.

So I'm out in the garage, reading The Hunger Games, having a smoke and I hear a loud CRASH from across the street.  Fuck.  I know that sound.  I hear it all summer long.  The damn bear is back.

Sure enough, I get up, look out the door and there is the bear, going through the neighbors garbage.  I have to admit that as I stood there I couldn't help but think, "Why the hell do the stupid neighbors keep their garbage can right next to where the bear comes out of the forest?"  I never have figured this out.  To me this seems like an invitation to the bear.  Like you're just asking for it to come and go through your garbage.

Anyway, seeing that there is nothing I can do about this, even if I wanted to, I go back in the garage and back to my book.  So I'm sitting in my Lazy-boy, reading and I see movement out of the corner of my eye and hear a sort of snuffling sound.  When I looked up, I fucking F-R-O-Z-E!  

The bear, I guess, decided to come say hello to me because what caused me to freeze (and made my heart jump into my throat) was the sight of the bear sticking his head into the garage door and sniffing.  WTF!!!  The bear is a ninja!  He didn't make one sound walking up to the door.  I am not cut out for this.  I got too much city in my blood.

In the split second it took for all this to happen it occurred to me that if the bear came into the garage any more, I am cornered.  Thankfully he just wanted to say hello and when he discovered that there wasn't really anything of interest in the room, he backed out to go find someone else's garbage.  I'm taking this as a good sign that bears find me unappetizing.  Shut up, just let me have this.  It will make me feel better.

After leaving the doorway I jumped up and ran in the house and went room to room as the bear made his way all the way around the house.  It really reminded me of a security guard just making the rounds.  So even though he scared the crap out of me, I also feel a bit better about having our security system out of hibernation.  Welcome back, Henry!  (Please don't eat me.)

(Yes, I decided his name is McButterfur.  I figure if he's that permanent a part of the neighborhood where he can come say hello and make the neighbors shit their pants, then he deserves a name.)
 


Kathy
04/16/2012 14:28

Only you Tatiana! What the hell did you have the garage door open for when you knew the bear was out there??? and your right, your not even a meal for him...LOL...why hasn't someone come out to trap this bear? What if you were out taking pictures??? I would never leave the house for sure!!!

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04/16/2012 14:42

I had the door open because when you are smoking in the garage it gets REALLY smokey. I wasn't the only one who had been out there smoking, I was just the only one out there when the bear popped in. The rangers have come out multiple times and trapped him and carted him off, but he's a bear and this is his home. One fact I do know about bears is that they will always find their way home. They have a built in sonar or some shit. We used to joe about the bear being a pirate because each time they trap him they tag him. He has a crap ton of tags hanging from one ear. But this huge bastard that stuck his head in is the baby (remember my last post about how there is 2 of them. Confirmed.). Not that that matters, that sucker is huge too. Funny enough I was trying to take pics of it when it was making it's round around the house, but it was too dark inside the house. I did tell DJ that I am thinking about camping out in the car for a couple of nights to try to get a few pics or video of the thing. Crazy, I know, but I think i have to.

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04/18/2012 10:32

Your garage sounds great! I need something like that - just to get away from the rest of the family once in awhile.

And bears? No thanks! I'm way too city for that!

Thanks for commenting on my Mushroom Print - that's how I found your blog!

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04/18/2012 11:30

I love hanging out in the garage. It's more like a game room than anything else.

Yeah, Growing up outside of Detroit, we don't deal with bears.

Thank you for coming to visit. I've read a couple of your posts over on Mushroom Printing. Thanks for returning the favor! XD

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