Lil Miss:  I watched The Shining.
Me:  You didn't!
LM:  Yes, I did.
Me:  Yeh, I know you DID.  I was saying that because I'm a bit suprised. *pauses* So...what did you think?
LM:  I liked it.
Me:  Yeah?  It wasn't too scarry?
LM:  No.  I think it's my new favorite movie.  It was kinda lame though.
Me:  You thought it was lame.  Well that's good.  I guess.  At least it didn't scare you.
LM:  Yeah it was kinda lame.  I mean. it only had ONE ax murder.
Me: *Speechless before laughter*
LM:  Well, and it had one hypothermia too.  I mean, Silver Bullet at least had 12 murders.  That's like one for every month!
LM:  I think it's too soon for Saw though.

And that is how you can tell she is my kid.  Not enough murder!
(If you got thet referance to the title you get 1000 cool points!!!  And you already know what this post is about.)

Lil Miss has just recently learned about Instand Messages and online Chat.  She really likes the emoticons.

Lil Miss:  3:-o (cow)

Me:  Moo

Lil Miss:  ~:> (chicken)


Lil Miss:  >-) (alien)

Me: lalien!!!!

Lil Miss: huh??????????????????

Me:  It's a lalien. You know from outer space

Lil Miss: You mean alien.

Me: Potatoe, potato.  You mean alien, I mean lalien.

Lil Miss: Oh, sorry.

Me: It's ok. You never noticed I put an L on the front of that?

Lil Miss: No... we never talked much about laliens.

Me: We should talk about them more.  You know so you can be prepared.  You have a foil hat right?!?

Lil Miss: What ARE you TALKING about??? Why do i need a foil hat???

Me: OMG!!!! So the laliens can't read your mind!!!! You are so lalien fodder!

Lil Miss: What's "fodder"?

Me: Fodder = the slowest of the herd.  A target.

Lil Miss:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I DON'T WANT TO BE A LALIEN TARGET PRACTICE ITEM!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Get yourself a foil hat.  Then they can't find you through your thoughts.  I'm telling you.  I think you should go tell daddy you need a foil hat right NOW!!!

Lil Miss: Ok, but i told gramma

Me: Ok gramma is just as good.  *waits a few seconds* (You do know we are joking around right?  No foil hats are really needed.)

Lil Miss: Yeah, i know. (darn!)

Me:  Ok, but don't tell daddy that...he really believes!

Lil Miss: Really? He said laliens aren't real.

Me:  Daddy...get out of the room so I cant warp our daughters mind!  He's just telling you that so you wont make him wear the foil hat.

Lil Miss: Along with monsters, and he isn't in the .room

Me: Everyone knows what the foil hat means, he knows ppl will know if they see the hat...

Lil Miss: he said monsters arent real either.

Me: ...and it clashes with all his shoes.  I suppose next he will say the tooth fairy doesn't exist.  I'm telling you, that daddy is just...well, WRONG!

Lil Miss: he said the tooth fairy, santa, and the easter bunny arent real, either.

Me: Don't worry...the laliens will come and get him.  And make him pay for that comment.

Lil Miss: ily (* that means I love you in Lil Miss chat speak)

Me: ily2

Lil Miss: ily a lot.

Me: ily a lot.

Lil Miss: Yll never know how much ily

Me:  And you will never know how much ily!!!

Lil Miss: ily to the stars

Me: ily to Pluto (where the laliens live.  On, Pluto, the PLANET!)

Lil Miss: ily to Kiliwhwata-whatever from Space Chimps

LMBO = laughing my butt off

Lil Miss: huh?  Oh.  Thx for not cussing

Me: Yep no problem. I usually don't swear when writing/typing.

Lil Miss: ily past Kiliwhwata-whatever

Me:  ily to infinity and beyond!

So after all day, and some help from Lil Miss's step-mom, Momica, I got this for my Yule present:
Foil: $1.50 Cute hair cut: $10 Knowing your daugter is now protected against alien mind scans: Priceless!
(For any of you scratching your head trying to figure out what Yule is.  It's pagan Christmas.  Google it!)

Shut the frack up!!! Does this not go with this convo?!?!  Thank you fellow bloggers for posting things like this for me to read!
Lil Miss:  I know what I want for Christmas.

Me:  What's that?

LM: A Sk...m...anil.

Me:  A WHAT?!?  I can't understand you.  You're talking on your dad's phone.  You know it makes you all muffely.

Lm:  A Skelanimal

Me:  Whay the crap is a sklinimal?

LM:  A Skelanimal!!!!

Me:  Can you spell that?

LM: S-k-e-l...animal.

Me:  What is a Skelanimal?  I've never even heard of that.

LM:  It's and animal that has it's heart and bones on the outside.

Me:  WHAT?!?!  Gross!!!  Why would you possably want...wait...they sell animals like that?!?!

LM:  Yeah, but it's not gross.  It's a stuffed animal.

Me:  Like taxidermy?!?

LM: No! Like a teddy bear.  The heart and bones are sewn on.

Me:  Oh!!!  God you had me worried.  You got real creepy there for a few.

LM:  No a real animal with bones on the outside is something YOU would want.  So, really, who's creepy?

I couldn't argue with her after that.  for any of you wondering, this is what she was talking about:
Kit the Kat
I did get it for her.  I also got her this one:
Dax the Dog
I felt the need to let her dad know, in case she said anything to anyone else (or in case he was thinking of getting it for her).  The conversation was short, but went like this:

Me:  Unless you already got one, I will get her the cat (Kit) for Christmas.  That cool?

Lil Miss's Dad:  Yep.  Wasn't getting her that.

I suspect that he thought it was the same thing I did and will be pleasently suprised to find out that there will be no dead animals, with bones and organs showing, in his house.

Have a Happy Yule/Christmas and a Great New Year to all my Minions!!!!
Her:  Know what I hate about your hair?
Me:  *Raises eyebrows*
Her:  When it gets in my butt.
Me:  My hair gets in YOUR butt?!?
Her:  Bet that's the first time anyone's ever said that to you.
Me:  Sadly, no.  It isn't
Her: Wow! You really get around.

*Note:  Yet another out of the blue conversations.  Thankfully, it won't be the last.


    For the protection of Lil Miss, all comments on this page will need to be approved first.  I don't mind if you DO comment, I just ask that you be respectful.  This is my daughter, after all.


    Some of these conversation may be slightly paraphrased (and edited) due to my lack of a memory.  (I really need to start carrying a recorder around with me.)  I have
    tried to get them as close to original as possible and, in some cases, wrote
    them down immediatly after having them.  Enjoy!

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    February 2012
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