I'm gonna let you in on a bit of a non-secret. I am, what I call, an urban hillbilly. What that means is that I live in the city. Whether it be a big or small city, I AM a city dweller. don't get me wrong, I love the country. But the country don't love me. My allergies and sinuses go nuts when I'm out in nature. Nature trails at the state parks are about as nature as I get. I don't even go camping. But put me around the sound of cars speeding down a freeway or a freight train and I am a happy gal. Give me indoor plumbing! But...I hate shoes. You can find me running around barefoot almost any time of year. And I love my guns. Although I only own one, it's cause I broke the other one. And, yeah, I'm a girl, but I cuss and spit and by golly when I got a itch down there I scratch it. Sometimes I do all 3 of the last things at the same time! (Cause I'm a multitasking bitch like that.)
And because of this hillbilly blood in my veins, they are called 'skeeters! Not mosquitoes. 'Skeeters. And they are out of control!
So I am petitioning you all to help me put a stop to 'skeeters. These lil buggers (ha! get it?) have been around long enough! They don't really serve a purpose, other than spreading disease, and I say we can do without them. Do whatever you have to do. Spray your yards, swat them out of the air, cover yourself in bug spray and starve the lil fuckers. You can even light your yards on fire and burn the suckers out. If you don't particularly like your neighbors yard you can light theirs on fire also and just claim "'Skeeters!" (I am required to tell you not to actually light your neighbors yard on fire, but I also can't stop you.)
My point being is that we need to rid the planet of these blood-sucking little pests once and for all. So dry out your flower beds, call your exterminators and buy stock in citronella. Let's do something about this plague!
And because of this hillbilly blood in my veins, they are called 'skeeters! Not mosquitoes. 'Skeeters. And they are out of control!
So I am petitioning you all to help me put a stop to 'skeeters. These lil buggers (ha! get it?) have been around long enough! They don't really serve a purpose, other than spreading disease, and I say we can do without them. Do whatever you have to do. Spray your yards, swat them out of the air, cover yourself in bug spray and starve the lil fuckers. You can even light your yards on fire and burn the suckers out. If you don't particularly like your neighbors yard you can light theirs on fire also and just claim "'Skeeters!" (I am required to tell you not to actually light your neighbors yard on fire, but I also can't stop you.)
My point being is that we need to rid the planet of these blood-sucking little pests once and for all. So dry out your flower beds, call your exterminators and buy stock in citronella. Let's do something about this plague!
Note: Yep, this whole post was written because I am REALLY allergic to 'skeeter bites and am already itchier than I want to be. The welts that spring up are really annoying. Too bad I can't get the bear to eat em all.
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