At one time, after I seperated from my ex husband, I had post-it notes all over my apartment. I had notes on the back of my front door to remind me to send my daughters lunch to school with her. I had notes on the cupboards to remind me of my work schedule. The note my mom always got a kick out of, that never came down, was on the wall, directly across from my toilet, reminding me to turn on my coffee maker. (Hey, I always forgot to turn the thing on and the first thing I do in the morning is pee. It made sense to me. After I hung that note up, I never forgot again. Now I have a coffee maker with a timer and I just forget to load the thing.)
So anyway, my memory is horrible. And I can't remember what the posts were. I do remember that they were really good. And funny. And would win me a Pulitzer. Ok, maybe I'm exagerating. A little. So instead I am going to tell you a story that I DO remember from when I was in the 4th grade.
Have you ever wondered where things go when they are lost? How one minute you can have something in your hand and the next minute it's gone? I have your answer.
You see, aliens exist. They do. And one of them lives on the rings of Saturn. From time to time, he comes down from those rings and visits different planets. But he likes to take home souveniers. He takes them home with him and puts them on the rings. Like a shelf. The problem is...he likes YOUR things for souveniers. So when you loose something, you aren't going to find it. The Saturn-alien has it. Your car keeys are sitting on the shelf-like rings of Saturn. Your kids pacifier is there too. Along with about 4,999,567 single socks.
But don't loose hope. The Saturn-alien like to travel. A lot. So the rings are very cluttered and there is only so much room for the stuff that has you going out of your mind and looking in the freezer for something that wouldn't possibly be there. At some point in time, as the alien adds more loot to the rings, they become over filled. That's when things fall off. Most of the stuff makes it back ok. Some stuff is lost forever. But when you find a fork in your garden, or, in my case, your favorite eyeliner that has been missing for months, it is because the rings got over filled again, and the stuff fell off.
There you go. That's my story. So I hope this story makes all of you feel better when YOU can't remember where you put something. You put it right where you thought you did. That pesky Saturn-alien just came down and stole it. Wait a while. It might show up when the rings get overfilled.
You're welcome. (Now stop looking in your tub for your cellphone.)