Ok, Minions, enough with the serious stuff for now.  Back to business.  (If you don't know what I'm talking about, go read this and then come back.)

Today I'm going to teach you something.  Yep, I'm going to inlighten you.  We will call our lesson:

Slurpee 101: The Difference Between Slurpees ans Slushies with Professor Sonja

Let's get started now.  Shall we?  I'll start with my qualifications.
What You see, to your right, is a picture of what is known as "The Big Red Cup."  Or more specifically, MY big red cup.  This is a monster of head bashing proportions that holds 52oz. of Slurpee goodness.  And I drink one every day.  I welcome diebetes as long as I get my fix.  If I do not get my daily Slurpee (even if it is a small one) I do get withdrawls.  Like, "Get me a Slurpee or I will hit you with my big red cup," type withdrawls.

Also, I have worked with both slurpee and Slushie machines and understand how to diagnose issues with them.

I do not in fact have a PhD in Slurpees, but if the University of 7-11 was ever to give one to someone, I'm sure it would be me. 

So let's get on with the lesson and quit second guessing my ability to tell the difference.

The difference between Slurpees and Slushies is actually quite simple.  But not everyone knows it.  The difference comes in how they are made.  But totally affects the supiriority.

Slurpees are made by taking some sort of beverage (pop/soda, fruit punch, iced tea) and freezing it WHILE constantly sturring it.  By doing this it is the actual substance that is being frozen.

Slushies are shaved ice with flavoring (cherry, grape, fruit punch) added AFTER the ice is frozen.  Slushies are also constantly stirred, but unlike Slurpees, Slushies do not have to go through a defrost cycle. 

Why?  They don't need it. 

Slurpees go through a defrost cycle so that large chunks of ice do not form.  They are then refrozen and returned back to their Slurpee state.  Since Slushies ARE ice to begin with, they don't need to go through this cycle.  Not to mention the fact, that no one gives a crap, because Slushies suck.  Once you drink all the flavoring out of your glass (because it is ON your Ice and not the actual ice it goes to the bottom of the glass) you are left with a glass of shaved ice and no flavor and, usually, with throw it out after only drinking half of it anyway.  Although Slurpees also have liquid at the bottom of the glass, the ice that remains is still flavored by whatever was used to creat it.  Because it was made out of it.

Slushies are used on Glee to throw in the faces of the singing kids.  Slurpees would never be wasted in such a fashion.

Let's look at another aspect.  Logos.  Ever see the Slurpee logo and the Slushie logo?  The Slurpee logo is simply the name "Slurpee" in large bold print.  Probably because Slurpees speak for themselves.  Whereas, the Slushie logo is a big-ole puppy-dog-eyed beagle like dog in a winter hat.  Ever wonder why they used a dog?  My guess is that puppy-dog eyes have, for generations, been used to convay sadness.  And really wouldn't you be sad if your product sucked too?

So there you have it, Minions.  I feel confident sending you out in the world with the knowledge of how to tell the difference between the two.  So do me a favor?  Get it right!  Quit mixing them up.  Not everything is a Slushie, just like everything is a Slurpee.  And please pass on what you have learned here today so your friends will know the difference too.

Thank you!  That concludes class for today.

(That will be $300 for the course lesson and $100 for the text.  Will take Slurpees as payment.)

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