I'm talking about back hair ppl!!!
Now I understand this is a natural efliction that a person can't control. Some ppl are just born to be covered in gorilla hair. I do actually get how genetics work and understand that it's in a person's DNA. But c'mon ppl! There are things that can be done to help keep the gag factor of the world to a minimum.
I would like to stop for a moment and explain what got me on this topic. (DJ's gonna kill me in the name of oversharing.) DJ, the boyfriend, has back fur. Not hair, FUR! It's soft and downy and fun to rub my cheek on. But I have dated guys with back HAIR. And I never wanted to even think about rubbing my cheek on them. Or being the back spoon. Not an option.
Anyway, DJ and I were discussing what he does (shaving his collar line) and doesn't do (wearing sleeveless shirts) to keep this effliction to himself and save ppl having to buy stock in brain-bleach to get rid of bad images. (Brain-bleach is my new thing, btw.)
It occurs to me that maybe these ppl don't know that they are efflicted. I don't know HOW they wouldn't know there is a dead animal stuck to their back, but maybe that's the point. It's on their back. Maybe they can't see it. (Benifit of the doubt ppl.)
I came up with a list of things to help you figure out if you should shave/wax your back.
1) If you wear a shirt and it doesn't touch your skin.
2) If you wear a wife-beater and the straps disappear in a forest.
3) If, while shirtless, children ask why you're being attacked by a dog.
4) You're Itallian.
5) All you hear at the beach are gagging sounds as you walk by.
6) Your wife (or husband. Hey! It happens) wakes you, screaming, "There's a bear in the bed!" Every. Night.
7) Your significatnt other won't spoon you because it's too much like muff diving. (Kinda want some of that brain-bleach now don't you?!?)
8) It's braidable.
With that out of the way, I would like to say, I love love LOVE chest hair! And, if there is any, I'm ok with some belly hair. But chest hair is where is where it's at. As long as it doesn't crawl over your shoulders and cause your back to disappear.
I was trying to think of a list of 10 things, but got stuck at 8. Maybe because I try NOT to look to hard at ppl's back hair. So if you have any other ways to tell, feel free to share. The only way we can put a stop to this is to bring it out into the open and spread awareness.
Oh yeah, and laser removal is also an option.