So now that I live in a house with 3 men (2 of which I share a bathroom with) I am having trouble remembering an important part of my bathroom-going.  Closing the door.

I know.  Disgusting!  But as any mom knows, it isn't until you are going to the bathroom that your cute, adorable, sweet, innocent little one needs to talk to you, isn't feeling good, wants a hug or just plain needs you NOW!!!  And no bathroom door in the world will keep them out.  You may be able to lock it, but even then they will stand on the other side and pound their fists on the door or yell at the top of their lungs until you can't even do what you went in there to do.  Didn't you know that if your pride and joy doesn't see you, as you're pinching one off, the world will implode?!?!

I gave up the battle of trying to go to the bathroom by myself a long time ago.

After living with Lil Miss for 11 years and not having to close the door, I just got into the bad habit of leaving it open.  Even when she wasn't home.  You can do that when you live alone.  Now it's a different story.  But I have seen them (the guys I share a bathroom with) leave the bathroom door open to pee.  I would retaliate, but for some reason it is more imbarassing (for them) if a girl is going potty than if one of the men is doing it.  Maybe they just got used to each other.  (*I would like to note that they do NOT normally leave the door open.  To be honest the only time it was left open was by DJ and only because I was standing in the doorway and he couldn't shut it.)

I will say that I did get to do one interesting potty-ing.  During New Year's Eve one of our party-goers was...well...revisiting his Jell-O shots/vodka soaked Gummy Bears in a violent way.  This made it imossible to go to the bathroom without sitting on his head.  Which would have drowned him.  Not that that is out of the question, but if I'm gonna kill someone by toilet bowl I want em puke free when I do it.  I mean taking someone out in that state is just class-less.

Seeing as how I am almost completely without modesty, I went into the backyard, took off everything from the waist down, sat on the ground and relived myself.  (I did have the forsight to bring t.p. out with me.  No pinecones for me.  And this is FL.  The pinecones here are the size of my head, so I am very proud of remembering t.p.) 

But this would have been SO much easier if I had an outtie instead of my innie.  Plus, if I had an outtie I could have just peed in the sink or tub of the bathroom the party-goer was in and possibly taught him a lesson in the benifits of holding one's liquer.

The lesson here:  Outties are easier to pee with and don't get dunk and puky at my house cause I will pee on your head and then murder you with a swirrly.  (Just kidding...maybe.)

Xtended:  Ok, so almost as soon as I posted this, I got this linkfrom my friend Backy for a Go Girl.  I HAVE to have one of these!!!  It its the solu

Leave a Reply.