So something happened Thursday night that I had to stop and figure out how I felt about it.  It made me mad and at the same time hurt my feelings as well as made me feel guilty and I needed a bit of time to sort out my feelings about it.  Now that I'm better I'm gonna share my thoughts with you! YAY!  (You know you're thrilled.)

Here is what happened:

I subscribe to a certain humor page on Facebook.  They post funny pics and jokes and videos and the members can post these things on their wall.  So I had a friend share a pic on my wall of a group of ppl dancing at a wedding.  It was a guy surrounded by a bunch of girls.  What I thought was a pic of the guy with his fly open was, in fact, not.  There was a bit more in the pic than I thought, but since I viewed this pic on a dinky 11" screen I did not catch what was hanging out of the guys fly.  Or he really is that small.  One of those.

Thinking this was funny, I posted it on this pages wall, hoping to share the laughs.  And immediately it was taken down. (The page is monitored 24/7.)  The moderator posting a warning to me.  I didn't understand why I was being warned, but hey, my humor offends a lot of ppl so I didn't really think any more about it.  I have been a member of this page for quite a while now, so I simply posted an apology and went about my business.

It was done.  No hard feeling on eaither end.  It had been handled...Right?!?

Wrong.

Some guy, who I had never met or talked to, decided to get on and call me a slut.  I know!!!  This guy really doen't know me.  Slut (and whore) is my C-word.  (Actually the C-word doesn't bother me.  In fact I consider myself the Queen of C-words.  But calling me a slut is like calling any other woman a C)  Now my first reaction was pure rage.  I wanted to reach through the computer screen and gouge out his eye balls with my bare hands.  Or at least write back a reply about how small and syphalitic his dick was.

But I took a second and decided that, since this is someone elses page, I would be respectful and politic. 
(Pick up your jaws minions. As I said, it was someone elses page.  If it were mine I would have gone through with the eye gouging.)  I told him I didn't think name calling was any better than making a mistake of posting a wrongful pic.

Then the thread exploded!!!

The moderator (the same one who gave me the warning) threatened to ban him and, in the end, made him apologize to me.  Other ppl I had never meant jumped in to defend me.  No one called him any names, but made it very clear they were unhappy with his comments. (He also called me a shemale.  WTF made him come up with that one, I have no idea.  At least the slut comment had ground.)

After a time he did apologize, for real, and at the end I even joked on the thread about moving along now.  What I'm left with though is...well I don't know what.  When he called me a slut I was mad.  Then I was hurt.  How dare this person, who had never met me, say such a hurtful thing.  I admit, I cried.  Bad.  Is it really that easy for ppl to hurt ppl they don't know.  That was rhetorical.  I know it is that easy.  But then I felt guilty for posting the pic because, as innocent as it was, it kinda started the whole thing.  This is a page that they try to keep relativly drama free and here I come mucking it up.  But I ws also SO proud of myself.  I didn't get mean, but still didn't take it.  I was diplomatic.  That's not something that happens often and, if I could, I would pat myself on the back.

Once the guy apologized and, eventually realized, that he had, like me, made a mistake, I felt bad for him.  I felt bad that all these ppl jumped on his case so quickly.  I mean he had it coming, but the number of ppl who put him in his place was a bit overwhelming.  But at the same time, it kind resored my faith in ppl.  As much as this guy didn't know me, and was willing to say what he did, these ppl didn't know me either and came to my
defense.  And they did it without getting nasty about it.  They were just firm with him.  And at one point the term cyber bullying came
up.

And the person who said it was right.  This was a classic case of cyber bullying.

Now between the ppl who stood up for me and the amazing moderator all ended up turning out ok.  But the fact that this guy said something to me, online, that affected me at home, in real life, falls under my definition of bulling.

If you know anything about me, I DO NOT condone bullying.  Of any sort!!!  After dealing with it when I was young and worse, watching my daughter go through it, while her school did nothing, it is something that I am very adament about.  I have a zero-tolerance policy about it.  Now, I have no problem putting someone in their place when it's called for. I can even get nasty about it.  But that's when someone is being an asshole and
I'm defending myself or someone else.  Not that it's really any better, but I don't think I have ever crossed that line.  At least I hope I never have.  To tease, call names or badger someone for no reason, or because they are different than you, is just wrong.  And it makes me angry.  VERY angry.

I don't want to sound hypocritical here, but I think this also needs to be said.  I can take a joke.  If the guy had called me a slut in jest, I would have probably joked back with him.  I've called myself a slut a few times and have no problem with friends teasing me about being a slut when they have humor in their voice.  Heck just yesterday I posted about ppl with back hair.  But it was a joke!!!  The honest truth is, I could care less if you have back hair.  Every day, when DJ wakes up, I attach myself to his back and rub my cheek across his shoulders.  I don't think I can be too serious about the subject. 

Myself, I have no teeth.  Last summer, after a number of accidents and a lack of insurence crumbled them, I had them removed.  It was an extremely painful and, even more, emotional process.  While I still had stiches after having 7 of them removed at once, I was not pronouncing things right.  While trying to pronounce the letter F, my friend Larry cracked a joke about it.  And it hurt.  No I mean really.  I was laughing so hard it pulled at my stiches and hurt.  He took something that was painful and made me laugh about it.  To this day, Lil Miss still jokes with me about "gumming" things and how she can eat certain things I can't because she can chew.  And it's funny.  Why?  Because I can laugh at myself.

What is the difference?  Saying things in jest, while sometimes might still offend, are not ment to.  A joke is supposed to make someone laugh.  It is supposed to be humorous.  When something is said or done with malicious intent that is bullying.  Will someone be offened by yesterdays post?  I'm sure they will, but that is not my intent.  I am not trying to justify myself so I can say whatever I want and get away with it.  I am just trying to explain what I see as the difference.

I don't want to go on and on about this, because it still gets to me a bit, so I will leave you with this.  Minions, please remember that ppl make mistakes.  Sometimes it's from not thinking, a misunderstanding, or any other number of reasons.  Sometimes ppl are different than you.  Ok, most ppl are gonna be different than you.  So keep in mind that the things you say and do affect others.  And not always in a good way.  Sometimes your words and actions hurt others very badly.  And, Minions, remember that those ppl hurting you, may also be making a mistake also.  They may not realize what they said or did hurt you.  They may have thought they were being funny.  So just say something.  And if you see someone else being bullied stand up for them.

Let's just try to keep these things in mind, huh?

And just in case they ever read this, I would like to give a personal thanks to the ppl on the page for standing up for me.  Not enough ppl in the world do that anymore.  To the moderator:  Thank you for handeling the situation the way you did.  There is a reason the page is one of my favorites.  After going through all that I have been in the last few months, your page has helped me a LOT!!!  The way you handled things just endears me more to the page and the ppl who run it.   You will never know what it means to me.  And to the guy, thank you too.  Thank you for realizing you made a mistake and apologizing.  I think we both learned lessons that night.  And thank you for testing my anger.  I have been working on it lately.

(On a positive note:  I made a new my first international Facebook friend.  So there is a silver lining and some good came out of the whole ordeal.  I went away from it happy.)

I would like to talk today about something that effects us all at some point in time.  You have all seen it.  Wether it was on T.V., at the beach, or walking down the street.  t could be the guy (or girl) next door, your boss, or even...gasp...you! 

I'm talking about back hair ppl!!!

Now I understand this is a natural efliction that a person can't control.  Some ppl are just born to be covered in gorilla hair.  I do actually get how genetics work and understand that it's in a person's DNA.  But c'mon ppl!  There are things that can be done to help keep the gag factor of the world to a minimum.

I would like to stop for a moment and explain what got me on this topic.  (DJ's gonna kill me in the name of oversharing.)  DJ, the boyfriend, has back fur.  Not hair, FUR!  It's soft and downy and fun to rub my cheek on.  But I have dated guys with back HAIR.  And I never wanted to even think about rubbing my cheek on them.  Or being the back spoon.  Not an option.

Anyway, DJ and I were discussing what he does (shaving his collar line) and doesn't do (wearing sleeveless shirts) to keep this effliction to himself and save ppl having to buy stock in brain-bleach to get rid of bad images.  (Brain-bleach is my new thing, btw.)

It occurs to me that maybe these ppl don't know that they are efflicted.  I don't know HOW they wouldn't know there is a dead animal stuck to their back, but maybe that's the point.  It's on their back.  Maybe they can't see it.  (Benifit of the doubt ppl.)

I came up with a list of things to help you figure out if you should shave/wax your back.

1) If you wear a shirt and it doesn't touch your skin.

2) If you wear a wife-beater and the straps disappear in a forest.

3) If, while shirtless, children ask why you're being attacked by a dog.

4) You're Itallian.

5) All you hear at the beach are gagging sounds as you walk by.

6) Your wife (or husband.  Hey! It happens) wakes you, screaming, "There's a bear in the bed!"  Every.  Night.

7) Your significatnt other won't spoon you because it's too much like muff diving.  (Kinda want some of that brain-bleach now don't you?!?)

8) It's braidable.

9)

10)

With that out of the way, I would like to say, I love love LOVE chest hair!  And, if there is any, I'm ok with some belly hair.  But chest hair is where is where it's at.  As long as it doesn't crawl over your shoulders and cause your back to disappear.

I was trying to think of a list of 10 things, but got stuck at 8.  Maybe because I try NOT to look to hard at ppl's back hair.  So if you have any other ways to tell, feel free to share.  The only way we can put a stop to this is to bring it out into the open and spread awareness.

Oh yeah, and laser removal is also an option.

So now that I live in a house with 3 men (2 of which I share a bathroom with) I am having trouble remembering an important part of my bathroom-going.  Closing the door.

I know.  Disgusting!  But as any mom knows, it isn't until you are going to the bathroom that your cute, adorable, sweet, innocent little one needs to talk to you, isn't feeling good, wants a hug or just plain needs you NOW!!!  And no bathroom door in the world will keep them out.  You may be able to lock it, but even then they will stand on the other side and pound their fists on the door or yell at the top of their lungs until you can't even do what you went in there to do.  Didn't you know that if your pride and joy doesn't see you, as you're pinching one off, the world will implode?!?!

I gave up the battle of trying to go to the bathroom by myself a long time ago.

After living with Lil Miss for 11 years and not having to close the door, I just got into the bad habit of leaving it open.  Even when she wasn't home.  You can do that when you live alone.  Now it's a different story.  But I have seen them (the guys I share a bathroom with) leave the bathroom door open to pee.  I would retaliate, but for some reason it is more imbarassing (for them) if a girl is going potty than if one of the men is doing it.  Maybe they just got used to each other.  (*I would like to note that they do NOT normally leave the door open.  To be honest the only time it was left open was by DJ and only because I was standing in the doorway and he couldn't shut it.)

I will say that I did get to do one interesting potty-ing.  During New Year's Eve one of our party-goers was...well...revisiting his Jell-O shots/vodka soaked Gummy Bears in a violent way.  This made it imossible to go to the bathroom without sitting on his head.  Which would have drowned him.  Not that that is out of the question, but if I'm gonna kill someone by toilet bowl I want em puke free when I do it.  I mean taking someone out in that state is just class-less.

Seeing as how I am almost completely without modesty, I went into the backyard, took off everything from the waist down, sat on the ground and relived myself.  (I did have the forsight to bring t.p. out with me.  No pinecones for me.  And this is FL.  The pinecones here are the size of my head, so I am very proud of remembering t.p.) 

But this would have been SO much easier if I had an outtie instead of my innie.  Plus, if I had an outtie I could have just peed in the sink or tub of the bathroom the party-goer was in and possibly taught him a lesson in the benifits of holding one's liquer.

The lesson here:  Outties are easier to pee with and don't get dunk and puky at my house cause I will pee on your head and then murder you with a swirrly.  (Just kidding...maybe.)

Xtended:  Ok, so almost as soon as I posted this, I got this linkfrom my friend Backy for a Go Girl.  I HAVE to have one of these!!!  It its the solu

Is it just me or are there more zombies in the media lately?  I’m not necessarily complaining…ok, yes I am. 
But not really.  

I’m just getting a little sick of it is all.  They are in our movies, TV shows, books and (*gulp*) video games.  (Did I really need to battle zombie Hordes?!?  Really?  If you don’t know what the Horde are…Google ppl.)  Now zombies have always been in these forms, but the amount nowadays is overwhelming.
 
Needless to say, I have joined a few zombie survival groups on Facebook.  (A few of these are  Zombie Fighting Rednecks, Northwest Florida ZRT, Zombie Squad, Zombie Awareness International, Houston Zombie
Defense, US Army Zombie Combat Command, & H.A.Z.A.R.D.  All of these are links to Facebook pages so go show them some lo) 
 
What The point of these groups is for, is to spread zombie awareness and share survival tips so when your neighbor comes calling to borrow a cup of brains you’ll know what to do. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a fair share of jokes, and other zombie related stuff going on, but it’s basically to bring to light what could happen during the zombie apocalypse and how to handle it.

Hey! The apocalypse could TOTALLY happen.  As a mild -to -moderate miso phobic (germ phobic) I think it is totally reasonable to think that some kid sticking his finger up his nose and then touching his mom could start this into motion.  Ever been sitting next to someone and have them sneeze on you?  You feel gross all over after, don’t you?  Because you could have just been infected with some mutant virus that will have you getting up in the middle of the night for a midnight snack of warm intestines, that’s why!  It could happen ppl!  Haven’t you all ever seen Outbreak?)

What I have learned from these sights is that preparing for the zombie apocalypse is a lot like preparing for a hurricane:  
 
You always want to have bottled water on hand.  
Hurricane: Power outs mean the sanitation plants go down and water isn’t being filtered. 
Zombie:  You don’t know if the virus is in the water system.

Do you have a generator? 
Hurricane:  Those power outs I mentioned. 
Zombies:  What? You think the power won’t go out during a zombie outbreak?

The best window coverings are sheet metal, but plywood can be used too.  Preferable bolted to the window.  Hurricane:  In case of flying debris. 
Zombie: Keeps the zombies from being able to get in through broken windows.  Your intact face will thank you for it.

Have a good supply of non-perishables on hand at all times. 
Hurricane:  In case the weather is so bad you can’t leave your home. 
Zombies:  zombies don’t stock the shelves at grocery stores.  Besides, you really wanna risk being bit for a box of Mac & Cheese? Wouldn’t happen If you already have it.

 Weapons.  Have some.  Fire arms are ok, but try to have some sort of knife or non-firearm type weapon also.  Hurricanes: Riots and/or savaging.  Have to protect yourselves.  Ok, this can actually be a lot like a zombie apocalypse. 
Zombies:  Your local arms dealer is probably a zombie because some unsuspecting infected jerkwad came into his/her store when the outbreak first happened. (See above about sneezing if you wonder how the arms dealer got it)  After the apocalypse happens, ammo will be in short supply.

Have a well-stocked first-aid kit. 
Hurricane: Accidents happen.  They will happen while you are trapped in your house by bad weather. 
Zombies: Ok, actually this one is pretty much the same as the hurricane reason.

I could keep going on, but I think you get the point.    So, please, do yourselves some research.  Even if you live in a place where hurricanes don’t affect you, look it up. Get learned ppl.  You can apply these things to tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, the ground opening up and swallowing you whole.  Ok, maybe not that last one.  It won’t hurt to be prepared.

So be rest assured ppl, when the hurricanes hit, I will be ready for it.  Or zombies.

I’m fucked if werewolves and vampires attack though.

So while trolling on Twitter, one of the bloggers I follow informed me about The Ultimate Blog Challange and asked if anyone wanted to extend it to February.

Basically what it is, as long as I'm understanding correctly, is a challenge for bloggers to come up with one blog post, per day, for 30 days.  This challenge goes on during January, April, July and October, but I only just learned about it.  You know, when January is ending. 

I found it funny that this subject came up because I was just sitting around the other day, thinking, "I really need to blog more often."  I even spurred DJ (my DJ) into pulling out the spare pc monitor so that I can actually get to setting up my computer/writing desk.  Which is still not set up.  So, I'm lazy.  Sue me.

But wouldn't this just be a good reason to poke my lazy ass into motion?  Don't answer, it was rhetorical.  No ass poking, please!!!

So, after thinking I needed to post more, and realizing I don't post as often as I should because my set-up is crap AND having someone mention something about a way to post more, I have decided there are just too many things pointing to this outcome.  Therefore, I have decided that for the month of February I am going to do this challenge.  I will post for 30 days. 

I cannot guarantee that all my posts will be good.  I can't even promise I will actually be able to post every day.  I mean, c'mon, shit happens some times.  But I think it would be a good exercise for someone, like me, who has recently started a blog, to get in there and get creative.  And since I have a number of different sections on this site, I figure, I can find something to post every day.  (Sorry in advance if I get boring by mid-month or so.)

So to anyone who is reading this feel free to check back over the next month for regular posts.  If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter I will post a link to each blog post.  Hopefully I will come out of this a better blogger (*cross your fingers minions*) and hopefully dust off those writing skills.

Now the only obstical that remains is...how do I find 30 days in a month that only has 29?  I'm gonna have to make up a day somewhere.  Seeing how I'm constantly losing and adding days as it is, it shouldn't be a problem.

Ok, let's clear something up.  Pluto?  It's a planet.  Choke back your arguments.  They will be falling on deaf ears.  You will not convince me. 

I understand that it is a dwarf planet.  All that means is that it's small.  Like a dwarf.  But it's been part of the solar system forever.  The second word of dwarf planet is...well...PLANET!!!  You can't just kick it out of the solar system, after all this time, because it's smaller than the other planets, you bullies.  If that's the case, you should kick Jupiter out because it's too big!

I mean, really.  Dwarf humans are just "little people."  They are no better or worse than other ppl.  You don't kick them out of the human race.  Instead you put them in movies and T.V. and wrestling matches.  Wait, that's midgets.  Whatever serves my argument because most ppl don't know the difference between a dwarf and midget.  You all watched Snow White and LOVED those dwarves.  Why not this one?

So why do it with a dwarf planet? 

I hope all of you "Pluto's not a planet' dwarf planet haters are happy.  You made Pluto cry.  All he wanted to do is be a part of something, and for a while, he was.  Then you went and took it away from him.  You know he ran home and told his mom.  Where do you think that asteroid that almost hit a few weeks ago came from?  Pluto's mom threw it at Earth for being the biggest bullies.  Don't we all know by now that bullying is wrong?

So I say, forget this planet vs. dwarf planet hatred, put your differences aside, adopt a more tolerant life-style and except the fact that Pluto is (and always will be) a planet.  It's bad enough he's at the back of the line, don't make him fight for that last spot too!

Besides, I said Pluto is a planet.  So, it must be true!  Right?!?!

(Holy crap!!!  This is the first thing I've written in years that Word says all my spelling and grammar is correct!  Yay, Me!!!)

What the hell is up with hamsters in commercials?  This week I have seen 3 different commercials that included hamsters in them.  And that's not the odd part.  The hamsters are doing things that are normally done by humans and that hamsters would not normally do.

I mean, first you have the car commercial where the hamsters are sitting around watching Netflix in their cage on little flat screen T.V.'s on little hamster couches.  Really?  Ever had a hamster?  I have.  There is no way a hamster would sit on a little couch without trying to gnaw the thing apart to turn it into hamster bedding.  And what owner would go out of their way to buy a little flat screen T.V. (that probably would cost $100 minimum) for a hamster (that probably cost $5)?  And one of them even has a laptop?  His little paws wouldn't even be able to use the keyboard.  C'mon ppl!

And driving and dancing?!?  Most humans can't do these things, so how could a hamster?  Don't believe me?  Try driving any freeway at about 5pm.  Most ppl can't drive.  Why would you trust a hamster to do it?  I won't even get onto ppl and dancing.  I've seen horrors.  I will give this commercial credit though, not only do the hamsters know how to bust it out, but it has robots too.  Who doesn't love dancing robots?  Ok, maybe Kia's got this one right.

So after looking up the videos to go with these, I discovered the third commercial was of guinea pigs and not hamsters.  But let's be honest, aren't guines pigs just ginormous hamsters?

Besides, guinea pigs, hamsters...neither one of them would row a boat.  Last hamster I had wouldn't even get on the stupid wheel.  They sure as heck wouldn't generate enough power to fuel this guy's house.  Well, maybe with the wheel.  Why didn't he just do that?  No 6 months of training needed.  Guinea pigs will run on wheels.  They even sell big ones FOR guinea pigs at the pet store.  Way to waste 6 months Geico spokesperson guy!

The Hamster of Doom is displeased with the way his species is being portrayed in the media.  I feel an apocalypse of coconuts coming on!

See his scowl?  That's aimed at you hamster-commercial people!  Beware!

I missed posting this weeks saturday post.  Sorry about that.  I was busy having a nervous breakdown combined wth a massive case of panic attack.  Had to worry about getting myself better before I could worry about posting on my blog.

Friday just started out bad.  I didn't quite know it when I woke up, but I had said (during lunch) that my anxiety level was rather high.  I mistakenly thought it was from driving in a city where you MUST do at least 20 over the posted speed limit or get a car up your ass-end.  I was wrong.

By friday night I was a mass of blubbering blather.  By early-early saturday morning I was snapping at DJ in-between hysterical crying jags.  By saturday morning...I was broken.

What started it?  I'm guessing the fact that I woke up and figured out the day ended in y.  That's really the best reason I can come up with.  As I said, I thought it was my paranoia of driving rearing it's ugly head.  I didn't realize until it was too late that it had been going on all day.  I didn't ever remember commenting on my anxiety until tonight (monday).  Sometimes that's just how it happens though.  Nothing more than waking up in the morning.  I'm still not over the funk, but at least the panic attack part is over and I'm functioning again.  That doesn't mean that I'm out of the woods as far as the panick attack part is concerned, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I do have to say something here though.  I give DJ (the boyfriend for those of you who don't know who he is) a LOT of credit.  He is definately a trooper for putting up with/dealing with my crazy ass.  Especially since I tend to blame him for a lot of crap when I get like that/this.  Some of it really is his fault and some of it really isn't.  Eaither way, he trys his ass off to make me feel better.  Even when I COMPLETELY confuse him and tell him 2 or 5 different things.

Anyway, there is a positive note!  Apparently all that assassin training from when I was younger paid off because I am stelthy like ninja when depressed and having a panic attack.  Several times between friday and today I have snuck in and out of rooms (and the house) without anyone knowing.  I appeared and disappeared and 3/4 of the time no one even knew where I was.  A few times I showed up behind one of the ppl here and scared the tar out of em.  Now that I think of it, ppl not knowing where I am while depressed could be bad.  Very bad.  Aww man, I see a teather in my future. 

Next ninja lesson to learn: how to escape a teather.

Thank you for understanding about the late post.  I promise this weeks post will be on time, reguardless of my state of mind!  (That's what extra admins are for!  :D)

So due to certain circumstances (which I won't get into here), I recently had to change phone services.  Usually when this happens, it involves requiring you to buy a new phone that supports that service.  This time was no exception.

If you're anything like me, you constantly drop, fling or bang your phone.  Or, in my case, it ends up in the toilet with alarming frequency.  No kidding.  Lil Miss threw it in the potty one time, on purpose, because she was mad at me.  (I have no idea what she was trying to accomplish, but she was 3.  Not a lot of 3 year olds make sense.)  That was only the first of 4 phone I would lose to the porcelain prince.

Because of this, I am extremely leery of getting one of those touch screen phones.  (That and the fact that I am often to cold for my touch to register.  I have enough problems with the touch screen pc that I did NOT choose.)  I mean, if I drop my fancy $300 phone and the screen shatters (seriously, it's me.  It could happen) how would I make calls?  This is why I try to stick with flip-phones.  It closes to protect the screen from the bumbling fool that is me, but it also has a number pad made of buttons also!!!

So, in explaining my constant ability to kill a phone in under a month of getting it, the saleswoman directs me to the Sanyo Taho by Kyocera. 

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you read that last sentence?  It's a Chevy SUV, isn't it?

That's pretty much what this phone is.  It's big, wide, heavy and clunky by cell phone standards.  It kinda looks like it ate my last phone.  Its made from this shock absorbent stuff that resembles the stuff they make pick-up truck bed liners out of.  (It kinda remindes me of one of those high-end walkie-talkies)  And...this is the best part...remember how I said I've lost a number of phones to the toilet?!?  This phone is water-proof (up to 30 meters) for 30 minutes.  Now I'm not about to test that theory out, but hopefully if it falls into the crap collector (*crosses fingers and hopes it doesn't*) I will find out. 

I know thet're not the best pics, but you get the idea

Oh, yeah, and my phone talks to me.  No, kidding!  It actually talks to me to let me know who is calling, who is texting and what I am clicking on.  Seriously?!?

My actual point of this post is not to tell you about my new phone (that I'm LOVING).  Since I really only require a "call" and "end" button in addition to my number pad, all this other stuff is extra.  What my point is actually about is computer(ish) technology.  And how much it hates me.  (It could be operator error, but I refuse to believe it.)

My new phone also utilizes the internet.  For most of you, this is nothing new.  For me...never had a phone with internet. (Pick your jaws up off the floor!)  To be honest, I didn't even have internet in my home until last year.  I know!  Don't worry, I haven't totally lived under a rock.  I have used the internet before and did have it for a while somewhere around 2002, but as a single (unemployed) woman, the internet was something that was low on the priority list.  However, when it comes to computers and stuff I have always been out of my element.  Electronics?  Sure.  I know about T.V.s and DVD players and stereos and stuff.  Pc's?  Duh..huh..what?!?

Now I don't have a phobia, per say, I just don't need most of the things computers offer.  The pc I owned
before buying my laptop (which is what I'm using now-a-days) was 16 years old before I threw it away.  (Ok, you guys really need to re-hinge your jaws.)  If DJ wouldn't have pulled it apart, and left it that way, I would still be using that thing today.  It's probably better that he did that because it forced me to get my current laptop.  The reason I threw it out?!?  There was none.  It worked fine.  It was just old.  But it did what I needed it to do.  Word booted up just fine on my Windows 98.  I didn't need anything more.  Until I had to look for a job.

When I lost my job I found out real fast that most places direct you to the internet to fill out applications.  Not
having the internet posed a problem.  (At one time I tried to install dial-up on my 16 y.o. pc and it froze just after laughing at me.)  So. I needed to get a pc so I could get the internet.  I went online (from someone else's pc...duh) and looked up laptops.  I figured a laptop would be best because, as a writer, my arthritis was getting worse and I figured it would eliminate carrying around the notebook and pen I could no longer hold.  I was right.  Even though I still carry around a notebook and pen.  Ok, so really, it just changed the size of the
notebook.  Kinda.  I'll never tell. 

I would like to note that just before buying my laptop my girlfriend Amberosia gave me a desk-top that I still use as my desk-top today.  When I mentioned this to her she was surprised that I still had it and that it was still running.  She gave it to me about 3 years old.  After owning a pc that was 16 years old, a 3 year old pc was
not odd to me.  She was slightly less than floored.

From the moment I got on my laptop for the first time, I knew I was in over my head.  It had all these...things...programs???..and stuff that opened when I turned it on for the first time.  All asked for my name and passwords and date of birth and first born and a batch of pumpkin seeds.  Ok, so some of them didn't ask my birthday.  I guess this was all to set up my pc and register, like, a thousand different things on it.  But I got through it and now I am here, sharing with all you good(ish) minions.

The internet though is a monster of itself.  Trying to build a website?  I think I would rather go get all my teeth pulled again.  At least I was able to take meds to deal with that.  I don't think meds will help me here.  It might actually make it worse.  (Note: experiment with meds and see if it helps me understand pc's better.  Hey! It
works with potheads and the universe.  This is the same thing.  Right?!?!)

So, now, I not only have to figure out the internet on my pc, buuuuutttttttt I have it on my phone now too.  I wonder if the phone has some internal safety feature for when the internet fries my phone?  If I have trouble with each of them on their own, just imagine what the two of them together will do!

But I have to say, that in discovering the internet there are some good things too.  I S-U-C-K at doing
internet searches.  DJ and I can both do the same search.  We can both enter into Google, "What does behind mean?"  DJ's results will pull up a definition on how "behind" is in the back of something else.  Me?!?  I end up with a list of ppl's asses because they are "behind"s and at the top it will ask "Did you mean ass?"  I'm telling you, it's a conspiracy against me.

Because of a number of my search results, the Urban Dictionary is quickly becoming one of my favorite sites.  I am a better person now that I know what "dogs in a tub" and "duck butter" are.  No really.  These were things that have come up, and drove me nuts until I searched them out.  (And now those of you who don't know what they are are opening another window to go to the Urban Dictionary to look them up.  Deny it all you want, I know you are.  You're welcome for those little gems, by the way.)

Anyway, I think I'll leave things here with a final though.  If you ever find me dead with a probe somewhere it doesn't belong...it was the aliens.  If you find me dead from a brain explosion...it was me, trying to navigate the internet/pc again.  Now I'm off to work on the site some more.  I will miss you all.  No I won't, I'll be dead.  Feel free to read my online obituary.

(Note: I think this is the longest post I've written.  Sorry.  Thank you for continuing to the end, for those of you who made it this far.)

So on Jan 1st I had to make a run to the hospital.  Happy New Year to me!  Starting it off right, by getting doped up off my gourd.  (I suffer from chronic migraines due to a closed-head injury.  I have regular meds that I take for it, but sometimes they just don't work and every 3-4 years or so I have to go get shot up with Morphine, Tordal and something for the nausea.  This time it was Zofran, in case you were wondering.)

Anyway, as anyone who has gone to the hospital knows, the triage nurse takes you in and asks you a bunch of questions.  Then they put you in a curtained off partition where are regular nurse re-asks you the same questions.  Then you sit around in a flimsy gown, shivering from the cold draft going up your back from the part in the gown, before the doc FINALLY comes in and asks the SAME questions the previous 2 nurses have asked.  I always have to wonder...why don't they just look at the chart that the first nurse made?

If you've ever had a migraine, and I know many of you have, you understand that thinking is not a strong point.  I'm actually not sure you actually do think.  Pain has a way of chasing away all your thoughts.  So for just this reason I have a card in my wallet that has a national registry access code on it so the hospital can look up ALL my information and medical history.

I handed this to the first nurse, but apparently I live to far in Bum-fuck cause he didn't really know what to do with it other than look at the little bit of info on it that I had given the 1st nurse a few moments earlier.  I even explained to him what to do with it, but...nothing.  WOW!  Sure glad I have that card.  Now I'm scared of what will happen if I'm ever unresponsive.

So the doc comes in and starts asking all kinds of questions.  He's asking about how much I smoke, drink, exercise, etc.  Then he asks these questions (no joke):

Doc:  Are you working?
Me:  No, not yet
Doc:  Do you have any special skills?
Me:  Excuse me?
Doc:  What kind of special skills do you have that will help you get a job?
Me:  How is that relevant to my current pain?
Doc:  I'm trying to get a social background.  So what sort of work are you looking for?

So I'm asking this...what does something I might do in the future have anything to do with the pain I am currently going through?  And how is any future employment considered part of my BACKground?

I could understand asking about a current or past work history.  Maybe I've been exposed to something, but future work?  Huh?  For a minute there, I thought maybe the doc was gonna give me a job.  (After talking to DJ, who took me, he confirmed that he was thinking the same things.)

So on our way TO the hospital a bumble-bee (which I'm allergic to), that was roughly the size of a small pony, flew in the window.  Since we were on our way to the hospital, I decided to just "GET THERE" and if I got stung, well, we were going to the right place.  Anyway, this bee now lives in my car and I have named it Sally.  (This really has nothing to do with the rest of this post, but it just popped into my head and I thought I would share and end this on a happy note.  Oh, and I didn't get stung.  See there is a happy ending!)